Unfiltered MOM: Teaching my kids to regulate their emotions.
Let’s just cut right to it. One is fun but multiple can be UNHINGED. Have you ever just sat in the room in the midst of the chaos (dogs,kids,mess,crying,laughing,whining,dirty diapers,etc) and just thought… “no for real what is happening right nowwww?” At that moment if you aren’t runnin on all cylinders you will lose lol.
I have realized through the years of being a stay at home mom(SAHM) that things might get crazy, and THAT might make you feel like you are doing something wrong because it’s chaotic, but truthfully…
Your kids/family feel SAFE and CONTENT enough to share their emotions because you’ve created an environment that provides/allows that! 👏🏻👏🏻
Now don’t get me wrong… as awesome as that realization is… I lose my mind sometimes with trying to remind myself of that in the moment. There are some days where I can’t be patient and absorb the overstimulation and I either freeze (sit my ass on the couch and do nothing as they run wild), or flee (pump the caffeine and drive myself mad trying to control the mess or KID behaviors).
My education has taught me that all emotions are REEL/rational emotions to kids under the age of like 10/11. Until that age they really aren’t able to understand that “maybe I shouldn’t be crying because I didn’t get the one I wanted”.. to them it is real sadness and devastation. So learning that has helped me take a step back in those moments and walk them through:
what/how they feel(identify the emotion)
feeling it versus showing it (you can feel anger without crying or screaming)
and making a choice on what to do next (accept that emotion but CHOOSE their behaviors).
That has been the best way I support them as they learn to REGULATE their emotions. And yes.. just like anything else in this world it’s easier said than done, and sometimes I too am losing my shit and don’t have the patience for it… but consistency is key and the more I’ve practiced it the easier it’s gotten 👏🏻
So long story short… being a mom is NOT for the weak. So shoulders back, chin up, be ready to show up tomorrow 🫶🏼
Jane